Our Life is What Our Thoughts Make It!!! ~Marcus Aurelius~

Author J A Sapphire

This blog is about Woman Empowerment, Self-Respect, Self-Esteem, Family Relationships, Women Issues and Inter-realtionships traditionally betwen men and women. My book Sapphire~Escape is a memoir that illustrates how the same society that condemns us (the strip club community) is the same society that creates us. Sapphire~Escape can be bought in a paperback http://www.sapphireescape.weebly.com or http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0989874001. For a limited time, copies will be autographed. Digital books can be obtained at : http://www.smashwords.com, which include: Apple iBookstore, Barnes and Noble, Sony, Kobo, Baker and Taylor Blio, Page Foundry and the Diesel eBook Store J A Sapphire’s blog can be found at : http://www.jasapphire.wordpress.com Author’s Page is at: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JASapphire


It took me two years to write my book and now that it’s out I need to stat on my second one. I wasn’t expecting people to come to me asking me to speak in their groups or at their school. Every review is exciting but this on in the UK gave me the confidence to believe in my writing. I AM AN AUTHOR!!!

5.0 out of 5 stars Compelling, Intriguing, beneath the veil., 3 Oct 2013

By S. J. Myers “addicted to books” (England) – See all my reviews

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This review is from:
Sapphire~Escape (Kindle Edition) I could not put this book down. It’s tone is dispassionate, not because the author disassociates herself from the narrative, but because it is simple telling of the facts.
It is beautifully written and left me desperate for the next instalment.

Having read other true stories I expected to feel pity for the main character, instead a sense of this ladies strength and fortitude comes through. The narrative teases you with hints of what is to come, and at times you read with a sense of dread, not wanting to go further, but compelled to see it through.

The author gives all the characters a fullness to their personalities, so that everyone is part of the story and there are no two dimensional filler characters to the tale. Even the rendering of ‘Bill’ imparts fully the impact that such a short interlude can make on a person.

In short, I’d recommend this book to every one.

Maybe it’s because I came to it without a negative impression of strippers, I always thought women who take their clothes off for money were courageous, and this is the first time I’ve seen them actively referred to a ‘Hustlers’ in a positive way, but I loved this book and feel like I need to know hat happens next in Sapphires life. The hints at the obstacles to come, and the complex relationships involved have left me wanting more.

There are so many levels to this book that I could talk about it all day, but if all you really want to know is if you should read it too then the answer is hell yes!

J A Sapphire

Gucci Mane at it Again

In my profession as an exotic dancer, I constantly meet and interact with many celebrities, Gucci mane is among one of them. He has always been cool with me, he carries great weed and he’s actually one of the celebrities that actual spend money.

I wonder if him going in and out of jail isn’t just to keep up publicity. To build a platform and to make this hard reputation to allure our youth as him to be “cool” in order to sell records. The pattern that I see with him is that every time i see him do something crazy in the news, he makes a new record and it sells.

What do you think about celebrities that are always going back and forth to jail?


Read My Writing at http://www.sapphireescape.weebly.com

If No One Thought Outside Of The Box, We Would Be Living In The Dark!

tom ed

My Birthday is in two days.. I can’t wait and for the first time i am really happy about getting another year older because for the past two years the universe has been trying to take me out. I appreciate each day, I appreciate my friends and i appreciate my family. I am in love with my nephew and will miss him so much when I move to LA in a few months but there are still things in my life that I have to chase.
I grew up listening to little minds. I became an adult with those same narrow-minded people still projecting their low opinions of how the world is to be when I had more life experience and diversity. These past ten months the narrow-mindedness is still talking but this time I haven’t listened because I know for a fact that there is more to the world than what they see.
Being practical is for those who want the life of practicality. However, this year, I discovered that I am EXTRAORDINARY! AND extraordinary is the life that I will lead… I am so excited about my future and the things that are about to come to me!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
I understand that people give advice off their own experiences but don’t be scared that someone is going into a different direction. It doesn’t mean that they’re being irresponsible about their life it means that they are trying to make a change in their life that may not have been presented to you. If no one thought outside of the box we would all be sitting in the dark. Dreams always seem cray until they come true.
Dream little dreamer and own what you believe in then it shall come true.

My Advice To Married Couples After Divorcing My Wife Of 16 Years By Gerald Rogers.

good stuff

Authors-choice: Hope & Revival

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there…

View original post 1,471 more words

Life’s Too Short!

I have had a few friends have relationship problems expressing that they did not know what to do. One had recently been dumped by an honorable man, the other is not sure of keeping her marriage.

There comes a point in your life when you have to stop asking others what makes you happy and depend on your on judgment for sound advice. When it comes to break ups, I believe that after a certain age they should be familiar enough to know that everything happens for a reason and they once a relationship is over that you will survive. The best thing in any situation is to love your self.

Instead of focusing on the hurt and pain look for the lesson that needs to be learned from the experience. Don’t ever blame yourself even if you find fault. Know that this is something about you. The one thing i told this woman is that she should realize that she is making better choices when it comes to men because he was mature enough to tell you what is going on, how he felt and execute what he thought was best.

I told her to pat herself on the back, dust herself off and shrug off the hurt and find someone new. Life is too short to be sad on someone that’s not with you. I told her to look deeper inside herself for a man that better compliments her but first she needs to look inside herself to see what kind of woman she actually is.

For the second woman on the verge of divorce, she’s been miserable for about four years. I told her to look into herself and find what she needs from her because the fact is, if you are not happy with someone then there’s no need to stay. Time passes by quickly and in a blink of an eye tomorrow can be another four years… seperate and work on you to see where this person fits in your life.

The point being that only you can truly make yourself happy. Don’t waste time with someone that isn’t.  

The Words Aren’t Worth My Breath!

Today I was told that the goal that I am trying to ascertain is unattainable. That I should accept a situation and be grateful. I stand in silence as i look this person in their eyes, therefore, this person feels that I agree with them and will do as they have stated.

Anyone that knows me, personally, really. Knows that if I don’t say anything while your speaking, it’s because I think that you’re an idiot!I feel my words aren’t even worth the escape of my breath or expressing. I stop thinking pessimistically a long time ago.

If I didn’t try to reach an unattainable goal, I would still be living in the hood believing that there were nowhere else to go. There are only challenges and obstacles and I plan to overcome all of them. If every time you open your mouth, the only thing that come out is that person’s faults, maybe the fault in that person’s life is you!

J A Sapphire

Esscense Magazine Ask…How has Forgiveness Affected Your Life?

Essence magazine sent out a questionaire..How has forgiveness affected your life. Below are the questions and response.

What was your relationship to the person who wronged you?
I had an intense on and off relationship with a man for twelve years, at that time of the biggest betrayal.

What did he or she do?
He had three children at once. One he planned with a woman but to me he denied them all and only claimed the one he planned to the world.

How did you feel about it at the time?
Betrayal isn’t even the word to use to describe my feelings at the time. The incident took my very essence and crushed my very existence of being a woman. The hurt took away from the reality that he was just an immature misogynist. It created an insecurity and worthlessness that I couldn’t defeat.

Were there negative consequences in your life?
The defiance caused me to become introverted, taking away my confidence in dating and projecting myself as a woman. I couldn’t look men in their faces for shame. I felt as if the world had known how this man treated me as if I were nothing. I couldn’t look at a child knowing that there were other women who had the child that I thought were at one time going to be mine. I was supposed to be the mother to his children one day. Now I am 37 yrs old alone and childless. In the world to start over again.

Your health?
I fell into a great depression, denial and anger. All my hair fell out, I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t concentrate on making money at work. I never wanted to socialize.

Did you think about restitution or revenge?
We both work to 4am in clubs. When I found out about the second child, I found myself outside his job with the crow bar in my hand ready to bash the back of his skull out for disrespecting me so bad. I had that much anger in me but then I broke down in tears because I wasn’t going to jail for 25 to Life over a piece of D*#K! I got in my car and went home.

What signs in your life told you it was necessary to release the hurt?
It was a friend. She asked me what did I like? I told her school and work. She reiterated the question and said that I need to do something I always wish to do and pursue another life. I wrote a bucket list. I wanted to learn how to ride horses and learn different languages. I also had been wanting to write a book for the past thirteen years.

I found myself riding in Equestrian competitions. I speak four languages now: English, French, Spanish and I’m a beginner in Mandarin. It allowed me to open up.
Two and half years passed before I met a man that accepted me for everything that I was. Of course, I messed it up but he made me believe in love once more. He made me believe in having a family.

What process did you take in letting go of pain, resentment, etc. * Was forgiving yourself a part of this process?
The process was to work on me, change the direction of my life and find someone that complimented me. I needed someone to bring out the best in me. I stayed to myself in order not to become bitter, which allowed a great man in. The next process was to separate each man. Not to let someone else’s past mistakes to dictate the person in my present or future.
It’s not that I forgave more so let go. Some say it’s the same thing. I realized that it wasn’t my fault and that a “Player” only plays himself. I am not a part of his life or his web in lies. He wakes up every morning wondering if his car in repossessed. He has to pay three child supports on three five year olds and has three angry children’s mothers to tend to. As well as three children or more to take care of while trying to have a single person’s life. In all honesty, I WIN!

How did you feel as this process took place?
The process was long, aggravating and lonely. An emotional rollercoaster, drunken nights, crying to sleep until I took a chance to start dating other men.

Did you feel more powerful after releasing the hurt?
After I released the hurt, I looked back and laughed because I could see what he was and if I had just met him right now, I would reject the very idea of going out with him. I was attached to the image of this man of when we were twenty-three years old. However, at thirty-six, I see that I am the only one that has grown. That in itself is power because I learned that I out grew him long ago changing the direction of my life to things that I deserved.

In what way?
I enrolled in Georgia State University, learned more about writing my book. I met knew people with new attitudes, perceptions and ethics that were striving to be so much more. They are the people who want to become the leaders of our world. They make me strive to be one, too.

Did your life/relationships get better or not?
The young man and I became friends again when I reached forty and even had a causal relationship for a short time to release the lingering feeling but it was so easy to walk away.
It is the first time that I can tell him exactly what I want, how I feel and I can now take these characteristics into the next relationship. This is the first time ever in my life that I knew exactly what I wanted. So I wrote a book to empower women, Sapphire~Escape.

Spiritual leaders say that resentment, grudges, etc. are the product of the ego, and that our “higher self” knows that the universe will restore balance and divine order. Therefore, revenge is unnecessary. Did you experience or witness things fall into place?
I believe that everything has a reason and a purpose. I believe that in order to tell a story one has to live a story and it must have trials and tribulations. You can’t learn when you have no experiences. When I closed that door, windows opened that I could never dreamed.

Do you believe the previous statement is hogwash?
I don’t think the statement is hogwash. It is a spiritual leader’s way of presenting the situation. I don’t think it has anything to do with ego. Resentment is being overwhelmed by hurt that only time can heal. Most people can’t heal until they confront the situation and accept the outcome. That’s not ego that’s learning how to deal with situations. And this only works if you believe in religion and that actual religion. When it comes to relationships “revenge” is never an answer because you can always take yourself out of the equation.

What role does forgiveness play in your love life and other important relationships today?
Forgiveness, letting go plays a part in everyday life because I learned from all of this is that life is too short to care about how someone wronged you. Keep it moving, find a new adventure and find a new you.

J A Sapphire


Seal the Door To Allow A Window To Open!

open door

As a newly published author, I knew that the task to become a brand would be a hard one. However, experience has taught me in the past that overcoming hurdles can only be accomplished when not closing the pathway to the past but blowing up bridges so that you can no longer return. Sometimes, it just needed.

What we think we need in our lives may not always be necessary and what’s necessary we may overlook because we may feel that they’re not needed. To move on in my life, I had to change my life this included my friends, associations and life’s direction. Also, I had to break ties with my affections, emotions and attachments.

Many of the people in my life that I thought we my friends were merely just aquanitances; not persons of quality, good reputation, and stagnant in social stature. All opposite of what I am.

I made a promise to myself not to feel the anquish of past betrayals, dedegrations or put down. Instead, I choose to reliquish positivity from the lessons learned from each activity. And with this attitude I will flourish in the grace of relativity.  For, doors are opening to me that I never knew existed because I took a chance and sealed that door that kept me in an abyss of  deception, negativity and illusion.


J A Sapphire



J A Sapphire

10 Steps To Becoming A Better Writer.

Recently, I was asked in an interview, what advise do I have to offer to new and aspiring authors.

I immediately respond…

1) No matter if they are a writer or not, keep a journal. It doesn’t have to be written every day but it needs to be consistent; once a week. The purpose is to change the way you think and perceive situations. It’s hard to change what you’re not aware of. A journal can show the transformation in your maturity level, naiveté and the direction that your life is headed. Some of these things are right in front of your eyes.

2) Writing constantly, forces you to become a better writer. It expands your vocabulary to communicate more-effectively and begin a writing style, which is your signature. I am still developing mine.

3) Write what you know.
Don’t write about love; if you have never truly experienced love. Don’t write about politics if you have never voted. And if it is a situation that occurred in your life, don’t write about it until ten years have passed. You can’t be too emotional about horrors in your life. There’s always five or more stories to the truth and what really may be the truth, can have seven different other layers. When you write a book it has to be entertaining not a bitch session. There has to be an introduction, climax and conclusion. Also, there has to be a message in the story. Also, science fiction authors, mostly were at one time scientist. Write what you know first before you expand to other subject. Read “Little Women” if you don’t understand.

4) Read other books.
Just because you think that your writing is good doesn’t mean that everyone else will. Read other books to expand your mind on what is marketable, how things are written and what subjects to write about. many paths have already been taken. You can eliminate mistakes by other people’s paths.

5) Set Goals.
Writing a book is a business. Today you might want write a back ground on a character; do just that. Tomorrow, you may want to write the prologue; do just that. Start by how many words you want to write. You might want to write 1000 words a day; write 1000 words a day.

6) Editing starts at the beginning of writing, not at the end. Share your writing with others in oder for them to degrade it with a red ink pen. Allow them to tell you how they feel. If they are interested in the subject, the characters, the setting. See if they feel an emotional attachment to te story. Get much feedback.

7) Never Quit.
We all have “HATERS”. Haters are the people who never try, plan but never execute, or whose mentality is so low that they cannot see beyond their own views. Disregard negative remarks and find ways to strive. Join groups, work shops, got to book festivals. Writing is an art, take classes and learn to be better writer.

8) Execute your plan.
There are planners and Doers. Plan to Do! Success will then come to you!

9) Learn Sentence structure and grammar.
This is very hard for most of us because we learn between the fourth and eighth grades the basics and after high school we forget about the rest.

10) Find your VOICE! We want to hear you.

Good luck new writers.

Author J A Sapphire

Thought for Today 8-13-13


I recently went back home for a funeral. I left approximately twenty years ago. I forget how conservative, religious and educated this side of my family is and how much we all look alike. I allowed one maybe two people that I hated in my family to estrange me from my whole family, which is wrong.

What did I learn?

Today’s Thought: Love your family.

You don’t have to like them or agree with them but love your family. Like it or not, they are an extension of your past, present and future and all that you off spawn.